March 16, 2012
…but I’m not gonna let it persist or take the best of me.
Drama free 2012!
March 12, 2012
It’s one of those times when something noteworthy is happening in your life and yet you have no one to talk to that you decide to revive an old blog just to have a release. I’m so excited to write this one down and share my overflowing emotions in a best way I knew how.
But then I realize, it’s too early and so premature to even consider it as something…
Well, I guess, this isn’t the right time for me to blurt it out. Thanks reality for the needed pinch!
March 31, 2011
One day, a very discouraged man visited Norman Vincent Peale. He told the good Reverend he had nothing to live for.
“Everything is gone, everything is hopeless. I’ve lost the heart for living.”
Norman Vincent Peale got a piece of paper, drew a vertical line in the middle, and said, “This is your life. Let’s write down a list of the things you’ve lost on the left side, and the things that you still have on the right side.”
The man shook his head, “You won’t need the right side. I have nothing left in my life.”
Norman Vincent Peale said, “When did your wife leave you?”
The man was shocked. “My wife didn’t leave me! She’s right here with me. My wife loves me!”
Norman said, “That’s fantastic! Let’s write that down as number one on the right side of the paper: ‘Wife with me’. Now tell me, “When did your kids go to prison…”
“Prison?” the man asked in “My kids are right here at home!”
“Fantastic! Let’s write it down here as number two: ‘Kids not in jail.’”
Norman continued asking similar questions, and the man got the point, and began to smile. He said, “I guess my life isn’t so bad after all!”
Perception Is Everything
Your perception of reality is your reality.
Your life has always two sides—a left side and a right side—the bad stuff happening and the good stuff happening.
A lot of people spend the whole day looking at the left side—the side where they list everything that’s wrong with their life. 24 hours a day, they think about it, meditate on it, analyze it, mull over it. That’s why they’re miserable.
Friend, make a decision to spend the whole day looking at the right side of your life.
I know. This is very difficult.
Especially when you fail.
There was a man who failed big time in the Bible…
You’re Like Peter
Peter was the Number 1 Apostle, the top man, the leader of the pack. And he prided himself as the bold one.
While everyone in the boat was terrified by the storm, he walked on water. While everyone couldn’t say who Jesus was, he proclaimed out, “You are the Christ, the Son of the Living God!”
Yet at the critical point, he failed.
When his loyalty was most needed, he turned chicken. He became a coward. How? He denied His Master three times.
When a maid said, “Hey, I know you. You’re with that guy Jesus, right?”
Peter said, “Je.. Je… Who are you talking about? Never heard of him. Sorry, wrong number.”
She said, “No, you’re the one. I don’t forget faces. I’m sure you’re the assistant of that guy Jesus who’s being tried right now and will most likely be crucified tomorrow.”
Peter cursed, “Heck, you’re mistaken, girl. I don’t know him!”
Imagine how terrible he felt after that night.
Imagine the guilt that ate up his soul.
Here’s my bet: For days, Peter was too hard on himself.
Like all of us, we are our own most cruel critic.
From my experience, our most toxic relationship is with ourselves. We are our worst enemy.
When we fail, we emotionally beat ourselves endlessly.
We label ourselves a “big loser”.
We curse ourselves to fail forever.
If Jesus Wasn’t Jesus…
Days later, Jesus rose from the dead.
And Jesus had this incredible conversation with Peter that showed us how God deals with our failures…
I love this scene!
Because Jesus didn’t focus on Peter’s failures.
If Jesus wasn’t Jesus, He’d say, “Peter, let’s talk about the night when you did that shameful thing of running away…”
“Oh gosh, Lord, I… I… I…”
“Tsk, tsk. I thought you were brave. Peter, you were a big, fat, 100%, unadulterated coward.”
“(Gulp) Well, uh, there was a lot of pressure that night, and…”
“And I thought I could count on you, Peter. I thought you were a loyal and faithful friend. Sheesh, was I mistaken.”
“I’m so sorry…”
“Shame on you, Peter. You don’t really love me.”
“Uh, I guess I don’t.”
“And my goodness, you denied me not once, not twice… but three times! What a weakling. What have you got to say for yourself?”
“I’m ashamed, Lord.”
“Oh, you better be….”
Jesus didn’t say those words.
In this conversation, Jesus focused on Peter’s love for him. He asked him three times, “Do you love me?” And when Peter answered yes, he said, “Feed my sheep.” (John 21:15-17)
Jesus didn’t believe that Peter’s denials defined him.
What was Jesus doing?
He wanted to tell Peter, “Hey, I know you really love me. I don’t focus on your failures. I don’t look at what you did wrong. I look at what you did right.”
God’s Focus Is Different From Ours
For so long, religion used to make people feel bad about themselves.
But that doesn’t come from God!
This message is very close to my heart.
Once upon a time, I used to call myself a failure.
Because I would focus on my weaknesses.
I would focus on my sins.
And the more I focused on my sins, the more I did them.
Until I became addicted to my sins.
You see, there are two kinds of guilt…
- Demonizing Guilt
- Detoxifying Guilt
The first guilt demonizes you. When you sin, demonizing guilt says, “You’re bad. There’s nothing good in you.”
The second guilt detoxifies you. It separates the sin from the sinner. When you sin, detoxifying guilt says, “This isn’t you. You’re better than this. Stand up. Move on!”
Demonizing guilt depresses you. It pushes you to sin even more. It’s the guilt of the addict.
Detoxifying guilt lifts you up. It pushes you to become who you really are.
Tell me now.
What kind of guilt do you have?
The World Likes Focusing On Your Weaknesses
One day, two women friends were talking…
Friend #1: “May balita ako sa ‘yo. Magaasawa na si Peklat kay Duling!” (I have news for you. Scar-face will get married to cross-eyed!)
Friend #2: “Talaga? Akala ko pa naman, ang magiging asawa ni Duling eh si Taba!” (Is that so? I thought Cross-eyed will get married to Fatso.)
Friend #1: “Hinde ah! Hindi mo ba alam na si Taba ay magiging pare in two years?” (That’s not true. Didn’t you know that Fatso would be a priest in two years?)
Friend #2: “Hah? Diba si Pango yung magiging pare?”
Friend #1: “Lumang balita na yan. Si Pango ngayon ay boyfriend ni Daldal!” (That’s old news. Flat-nose is now engaged with Motor-mouth!)
The Root Of Our Personal Problems
The world taught us to focus on our weaknesses.
And that’s why we like to focus on our weaknesses.
We hear this “voice recording” in our minds, saying…
“You’re too small.”
“You have too many pimples.”
“You’re nose is too big.”
“You’re not bright enough.”
“You don’t have enough talents.”
“You’re a mess.”
“You’re too weak.”
“You’re too poor.”
I’ve met a lot of people who don’t have a good opinion about themselves. And believe me, this is the root of most of their personal problems.
This is the root of why they have relationship struggles.
This is the root of why they’re trapped in mediocre living.
Your opinion of yourself is the most important opinion you’ll ever have.
Why? People will see you the way you see yourself.
Your Weakness Is God’s Redirection
Don’t be too hard on yourself because of your weakness.
Your weakness isn’t God’s rejection but God’s redirection.
Being weak in one area means that’s not where God wants you to serve. A weakness means you’re supposed to serve in another area.
I remember the story of this jobless man who applied to work as a janitor of a huge company.
After the HR manager interviewed him, he said, “You’re hired. Just give me your email address so I can email you the application form to fill…”
The man said, “I’m sorry, I don’t have an email address. I don’t know how to use the computer.”
“Then I’m sorry too,” said the HR manager, “if you don’t have an email, that means you don’t exist. And someone who doesn’t exist won’t get a job.”
The jobless man walked out of room totally discouraged.
He only had P300 in his pocket. That was all the money he had. He remembered his little daughter at home. He imagined her going hungry and decided to do something.
He went to the market and bought a box of tomatoes. He then went door to door, selling the tomatoes. In three hours, he was able to double his money to P600. He repeated the operation 3 times that day, returning home with P2400.
The man realized that he can survive this way!
Shortly after, he bought a cart, then a truck, and after a couple of years, he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles.
Ten years later, he was a big-time food distributor, a very successful and wealthy man.
At that time, a friend sold him life insurance.
When this wealthy man was filling out his insurance application form, it asked for his email address. He told his friend, the insurance agent, “I don’t have an email address.”
The friend said, “Wow, you don’t have an email, and yet you succeeded to build an empire. Can you imagine what you could have been if you had an email?”
The man thought for awhile and said, “Janitor.”
How My Weakness Showed Me How To Serve God
Because he had no email, he was rejected.
But that rejection was a redirection.
Let me tell you my story.
When I was growing up as a kid, I had a weakness.
According to my school teachers, I wasn’t very intelligent.
Because I didn’t like reading books.
I wasn’t a fan of books.
I’d rather watch TV and play with my toys.
But at the age of 12, something happened: I had a spiritual conversion. I came to know Jesus in a personal way.
That was when my mother asked me to read a small book entitled, Prison To Praise.
And for the first time, I actually opened the book not from school!
First of all, the book was a tiny, thin book.
Second, Mom said it was filled with exciting “miracle” stories.
That little book was a simple, true-to-life story of a worldly man who lived far away from God, who went to prison, came to know Jesus, and begun to live a life of praise.
The book was so simple, so easy to understand, I was hooked. When I finished it, I wanted to read more books about God. I remember reading Perfect Joy of St. Francis after that. And I never stopped reading ever since.
I realized that I wasn’t allergic to reading books.
I was just allergic to reading difficult books.
Like my textbooks in school.
Difficult books that had long words, long sentences, and long paragraphs. I felt the Authors were so intelligent, I couldn’t understand what they were trying to say.
And Then I Became An Author
When I hit 20, I wrote my first book.
And I wrote the kind of book that I would like to read.
It was a very thin book.
And I wrote using short words, short sentences, and short paragraphs. And I told very simple stories.
Today, 19 books later, I still write in the same way.
And guess what? All my 19 books are bestsellers.
You know why I’m a successful author today?
Because I wasn’t too intelligent.
Imagine if I was intelligent.
Imagine if I liked reading difficult, scholarly books.
Then I’d probably write like that too.
Would I be able to reach the audience I’m reaching now?
Would I be able to write 19 bestselling books?
I don’t think so.
I thank God I’m not too intelligent.
Because my weakness has become my strength.
Your Weakness Will Bless The World
What is your weakness?
Don’t be too hard on yourself.
You’ll be surprised that your weakness will be the source of strength for others around you.
Once upon a time, there were two friends named Pok and Nat. Pok and Nat worked as Water Bearers. Each morning, they’d draw water from the well and deliver to their respective little barrios.
But Pok had a little problem. His pail was broken. It had a little crack and was leaking. So by the time he arrived in his barrio, his pail was already half-empty. And Pok had no money to buy a new pail, so he kept using it.
Because of his broken pail, Pok had to take double the trips Nat took. Nat would take 10 trips but Pok had to make 20.
But through it all, Pok kept smiling as he did his work.
One morning, Nat asked him, “Pok, why are you always smiling? I know that your pail is cracked. And you have no money to replace it.”
Pok said, “Take a look at the path I travel everyday. What do you see?”
Nat was shocked. All along the path, he saw a beautiful row of flowers!
“Because I knew my pail was cracked,” Pok said, “I planted flower seeds along the way. Everyday, as I walked this path, my pail watered these flowers. Tomorrow, I’ll harvest the flowers and sell them in the city.”
Why was Pok happy?
Because he found a way to use his weakness.
Friend, I ask you again.
What is your weakness?
What is your limitation?
What is your handicap?
Plant seeds beneath your weakness.
Soon, you’ll harvest them and prosper.
And the world will be a richer place because of your weakness.
Your weakness is a wonderful opportunity for God to manifest His power. The Bible says, My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. (2 Corinthians 12:9)
Jesus Takes What Peter Offers
One last thing.
Remember what I said above—about Jesus asking Peter three times, “Do you love me?”
You see, the English language has only one word for love.
The Greek language has four words for love. And two of those Greek words were used in this conversation: Agape and Filia.
Agape means God’s love, perfect and eternal.
Filia means the best of human love.
Here’s how the conversation went along…
Jesus asked Peter, “Do you agape me?”
Peter said, “I filia you.”
Jesus asked him again, “Do you agape me?”
Peter said again, “I filia you.”
Peter was honest. The painful wound of his three denials is still very raw in his conscience. He was telling Jesus, “I’m a mess, Lord. I can’t give you agape. But I’ll try to give you filia.”
On the third question, Jesus asked, “Peter, do you filia me?”
Jesus accepted what Peter could offer at that moment.
And today, he accepts what you offer to him, your weaknesses included.
Offer your life to Him today.
May your dreams come true,
March 31, 2011
Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
Write, for example,’The night is shattered
and the blue stars shiver in the distance.’
The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.
Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.
Through nights like this one I held her in my arms
I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.
She loved me sometimes, and I loved her too.
How could one not have loved her great still eyes.
Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.
To hear the immense night, still more immense without her.
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to the pasture.
What does it matter that my love could not keep her.
The night is shattered and she is not with me.
This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance.
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.
My sight searches for her as though to go to her.
My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.
The same night whitening the same trees.
We, of that time, are no longer the same.
I no longer love her, that’s certain, but how I loved her.
My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.
Another’s. She will be another’s. Like my kisses before.
Her voide. Her bright body. Her inifinite eyes.
I no longer love her, that’s certain, but maybe I love her.
Love is so short, forgetting is so long.
Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms
my sould is not satisfied that it has lost her.
Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer
and these the last verses that I write for her.
March 18, 2011
Bible Verse Of The Day
Thursday, March 17, 2011
— 1 Thessalonians 5:18 —
…give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
This verse says to give thanks in all things, not for all things. God expects no one to be thankful for sickness, tragedies or losses that befall us in this life. But he does expect us to trust him in the midst of such circumstances. In these difficult times, we can thank God that he will cause all things to work together for good in our life (Romans 8:28). While we grieve for these events and the losses incurred, we can give thanks even while in their midst. Giving thanks when things are good requires enthusiasm, but giving thanks in hard times requires faith. If you are in the midst of difficulties, begin each day with a prayer of thanks.
(March 18, 2011; http://www.lehrmangroup.com/verse/)
February 8, 2011
Something To Think About!
Imagine that you had won the following prize in a contest:
Each morning your bank would deposit $86,400.00 in your private account for your use.
However, this prize has rules, just as any game has certain rules.
The first set of rules would be:
Everything that you didn’t spend during each day would be taken away from you.
You may not simply transfer money into some other account. You may only spend it.
Each morning upon awakening, the bank opens your account with another $86,400.00 for that day.
The second set of rules:
The bank can end the game without warning; at any time it can say,
It’s over, the game is over!
It can close the account and you will not receive a new one.
What would you personally do?
You would buy anything and everything you wanted, right?
Not only for yourself, but for all people you love, right?
Even for people you don’t know, because you couldn’t possibly spend it all on yourself, right?
You would try to spend every cent, and use it all, right?
ACTUALLY, this GAME is REALITY!
Each of us is in possession of such a magical bank. We just can’t seem to see it.
The MAGICAL BANK is TIME!
Each morning we awaken to receive 86,400 seconds as a gift of life, and
When we go to sleep at night, any remaining time is NOT credited to us.
What we haven’t used up that day is forever lost.
Yesterday is forever gone.
Each morning the account is refilled, but the bank can dissolve your account
at any time….WITHOUT WARNING.
SO, what will YOU do with your next 86,400 seconds?
Aren’t they worth so much more than the same amount in dollars?
Think about that, and always think of this:
Enjoy every second of your life, because time races by so much quicker
than you think.
So take care of yourself, be Happy, Love Deeply and enjoy your life!
Here’s wishing you a wonderful and beautiful day!!! J
August 10, 2010
This is a collection of rules that every man should live by. It originated in an article written by Maxim, but with some help from the valet boys (Vaida & Dodds) and now the guys at Mifflin, they have become law. The rules are to be followed at all times. They can only be changed by the creators and even that requires a majority vote. So read them, learn them, live them!
1. If you’ve known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever! Unless you actually marry her.
2. When questioned by a friend’s girlfriend, you need not and should not provide any information as to his whereabouts. You are even permitted to deny his very existence.
3. Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 24 hours.
4. A best man’s toast may not include any of the following phrases, "down in Tijuana", "one time when we were all piss drunk", or "and this girl had the biggest rack you ever saw".
5. You may exaggerate any anecdote told to your friends by 50% without recrimination, beyond that anyone within earshot is allowed to yell out "bullshit!". (exception: when trying to pick up a girl, the allowable exaggeration is 400%)
6. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
7. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another man is 5 minutes. The maximum is 6 minutes. For a girl, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 scale.
8. Bitching about the brand of free beverages in your buddy’s refrigerator is forbidden. But gripe at will if the temperature is not suitable.
9. A friend must be permitted to borrow anything you own – grill, car, firstborn child – within 12 hr notice. Women or anything considered "lucky" are not applicable in this case.
10. Falling on a grenade for a buddy (agreeing to distract the skanky friend of the hot babe he’s trying to score) is your legal duty. But should you get carried away with your good deed and end up getting on the beast, your pal is forbidden to ever speak of it.
11. Do not torpedo single friends.
12. On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
13. Before dating a buddy’s ex you are required to ask his permission. If he grants it, he is however allowed to say, "man, your gonna love the way she licks your balls"
14. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a Buffalo wing clean.
15. If a man’s zipper is down, that’s his problem, you didn’t see anything!
16. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. (in fact, even remembering your best friends birthday is optional)
17. You must offer heartfelt condolences over the death of a girlfriends cat, even if it was you who secretly set it on fire and threw it into a ceiling fan.
18. While your girlfriend must bond with your buddies girlfriends with in 30 minutes of meeting them, you are not required to make nice with her gal pal’s boyfriends- low level sports bonding is all the law requires.
19. Unless you have a lucrative endorsement contract, do not appear in public wearing more than one Nike swoosh.
20. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who’s playing.
21. If your girlfriend asks to set your friend up with her ugly, whiny, loser friend of hers, you must grant permission, but only if you have ample time to warn your friend to prepare his excuse about joining the priesthood.
22. Only in a situation of mortal danger or ass peril are you permitted to kick another member of the male species in the testicles.
23. Unless you’re in prison, never fight naked. This includes men who aren’t wearing shirts. If your buddy is outnumbered outmanned, or too drunk to defend himself, you must jump into the fight. Exception: if during the past 24 hours your friends actions have caused you to think "what this guy needs is a good ass wuppin", in which case you may refrain from getting involved and stand back and enjoy.
24. Friends don’t let friends wear speedos. Ever. Case closed.
25. Fives must be called at all times when getting out of your seat. If not, your seat is up for grabs. However, "house rules" may come into effect, in which case it is left up to the owner of the seat.
26. Shotgun can be called on anything where a shotgun applies., as long as you are in eyesight of the object, or it is at a reasonable time.
27. When picking players for sports teams it is permissible to skip over your buddy in favor of better athletes- as long as you don’t let him be the last sorry son of a bitch standing on the sideline.
28. If you ever compliment a guy’s six pack, you better be talking about his choice of beverage.
29. Never join your girlfriend in ragging on a buddy of yours, unless she is withholding sex, pending your response.
30. Phrases that may never be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
"Yeah, baby, push it!"
"Come on, give me one more, harder!"
"Another set and we can hit the showers"
"Nice ass! Are you a Sagittarius?"
31. Never hesitate to reach for the last beverage or pizza, but not both. That’s just mean.
32. Never talk to another man in the bathroom unless you are on equal footing: both urinating, both waiting in line for all other situations an "I recognize you" nod will do just fine.
33. Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch nearby, hang up if necessary.
34. You can not rat out a friend who show’s up to work or class with a massive hangover, however you may: hide the aspirin, smear his chair with limburger cheese, turn the brightness on his computer way up so he thinks its broken, or have him paged every seven minutes.
35. If you catch your girl messing around with your best friend, let your state’s crime of passion laws be your guide.
36. If your buddy is trying to hook up with a girl, you may sabotage him only in a manor that gives you no chances of getting any either.
37. Before allowing a drunken friend to cheat on his girl, you must attempt one intervention. If he can get up on his feet, look you in the eye, and deliver a "fuck off" then you are absolved from all responsibility. Later on it is ok that you have no idea what his girlfriend is talking about.
38. The morning after you and a babe, who was formerly "just a friend", go at it, the fact that you’re feeling weird and guilty is no reason not to jump on her again before there is a discussion about what a big mistake it was.
39. If a buddy has lint, an eyelash, or any other foreign object on his hair or face, under no circumstances are you permitted to remove it. However an appropriate hand gesture may be made to make him aware of it.
40. An anniversary is recognized on a yearly basis, under no circumstances will anything be celebrated in an interval other than a year
41. When using a urinal in a public restroom, a buffer zone of at least one urinal will exist at all times. If the only empty urinal is directly next to an occupied on, then you are still required to wait. (Exception: at a sporting event where a line has formed to use the pisser)
42. When coming to a room which you know is occupied by your friend and possibly another girl, you must knock and wait for an adequate response. If no response occurs, and the door is locked, a 10 minute period is required before knocking again.
43. The only time dicking over a buddy for a girl is legal, is when the girl ranks a 8 or above on the 1-10 scale. (exception: a girl may rank from 5-7, as long as there is oral sex involved).
44. A mans gotta scratch what a mans gotta scratch. This applies to picking as well. Let the man be.
45. No man shall ever watch any of the following programs on TV:
Any sport involving women (unless viewed for sexual purposes)
46. If you accidentally touch or brush against any part of another man below the waist, it is an understood accident, and NO apologies or any reference to the occurrence is necessary.
47. No man shall spend more than 2 minutes in front of a mirror. If more time is required, a three minute waiting period must be allowed before returning to the mirror.
48. Any dispute lasting any longer than 3 minutes will and must be settled by rock, paper, scissors. There is no argument too important for this determining method.
49. No man will ever willingly watch a movie in which the main theme is dancing, and if a man shall happen to view such a movie it is only acceptable if its with a girlfriend.
50. Only acceptable time when a man is allowed to cry:
when a heroic dog dies to save his master.
after being struck in the testicles with anything moving fast than 7 mph.
When your date is using her teeth.
The day Anna Kornikova chooses a husband.
51. If a bet is made, and the challenge is completed, then the bettor may recoup his money by immediately completing a more daring challenge. If he refuses the challenge or chooses not to propose one, then and only then, must the money be paid.
52. Masturbate often. (exception: if your roommate is due back within the hour)
53. If a hot girl shall happen to pass by while you are in an arms reach of your buddy, you must, and will, tap him on the shoulder to make him aware of the babe.
54. A man’s shoes may not intentionally match any other article of clothing on his body.
55. No comment shall ever be made to a man about how much he is sweating. In fact, there is no need bring notice to any body part which he may be sweating from.
56. No man shall ever allow anyone to speak ill of The Simpsons or any Rocky movie. (Exception: Rocky V)
57. You have not made any mistake if you find that there are extra pieces after reassembling or assembling an object. In fact, you have just found a way to make that object more efficient.
58. There is never an occasion in which any shirt without buttons may be tucked in. (Exception: when you are participating in a organized sporting event)
59. Unless you are under the age of 11 or wearing a bathing suit,, DON’T wear whitey tighty’s. It still escapes all reasoning as to why they even make them in adult sizes.
60. Any object thrown with reasonable speed and accuracy, MUST be caught.
61. No man shall ever keep track of, or count, the amount of beers he has had in a night.
62. Under no circumstances may two non-related men share a bed or anything which can be perceived as a mattress.
63. In an empty room, car, ect., a man can not ask another man if he is mad because he isn’t talking.
64. If you jiggle more than twice, your playing with it.
65. A man shall never help another man apply sun tan oil.
66. The guy who wants something the most is responsible for getting it.
67. If your friend says "Lick my nuts" as a way to put you down, don’t try to be funny by saying "OK" and moving your head towards his crotch, two homosexual references in a row are just plain scary…
68. If you say ouch, you are a pussy!
69. It is the God given duty of every man to assist any other man that may be in need of assistance in obtaining every guys dream (threesome with two girls)
* with every set of laws, there are appropriate punishments. If any man shall happen to break any one of these codes, he will be found guilty, and will, for 24 hours from the time of the violation, be considered NOT A MAN. During this time he will not be referred to in any masculine way, and he shall bear the name Princess.
Feel free to submit any additional man code rules to LessIceMoreBooze@liquorwits.com
I must admit that I have violated some of the provisions of the Code, particularly 7, 33 and 47.
The list is not mine. Credits to: http://www.liquorwits.com/code.html